we made out on top of his cat.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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