finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
