i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
