dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
