No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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