how can u be prego again
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize