he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I am available for nakedness
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