Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
