Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
