who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
