OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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