so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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