Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
