Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
