If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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