these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
