Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just found puke in my bra..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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