Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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