i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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