he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
