and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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