His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
