My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
