i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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