where am i from again
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
