Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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