I cockslap morals
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My pussy is not your playground.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
