My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
