the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it's like heaven, but drunker
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
