God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
