Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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