Plan B is the new Plan A
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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