Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
