also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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