Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
