Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
