just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
