For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
