so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize