i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
