youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize