Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
