im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
