Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
