I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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