Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize