C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your penis caused this!
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