I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
