Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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