He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My vagina just recognized that song.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
