pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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