Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
