Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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