Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
