i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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