It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
