Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
