all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
