herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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