Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
