I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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