Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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