I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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