I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
