It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
